Oh mere Rabba…

I am unable to decide whether I liked the movie and if I liked , then what did I like in the movie. If you want to watch Re Ne…. because you are a die hard fan of Shahrukh and you like him because of his macho image. Mind you …it is completely unlike Shakrukh movies. The scirpt writer didn’t have much to write about. Infact I doubt whether a full fledged script for this movie was written. The script writer got little confused , he wanted to write something different for SRK and I think he went too far off. Yash Chopra wanted to show Punjab, punjaban, gole gappe, punjab dee galian , barish so he made this movie. The new comer Anushka Sharma is a fresh face but totally non glamorous. In both the roles, SRK one as anushka’s husband and another as her boy friend ( yes… she is newly married but she has a boy friend but there is no triangle in the movie. It is a circle where it begins and ends with Shahrukh Khan),he looks totally unlike SRK.
SRK looks typical husband material the boring variety type who either knows how to bury his head in the laptap or talk in monosyllables. If you are already there in the theatre just enjoy watching Amritsar , Golden temple , gol gappe wali galli , paranthe wali gali etc and don’t go for logistics like why a wife is unable to recognize her husband when he is without mustaches.

Guess who is who in this picture!

See what make up can do to people especially women. The Lions Club team represented by eleven Lion ladies gave a scintillating performance (Not my words, that’s what everyone is telling!). Though we focused on doing our best and enjoying ourselves, the 3rd prize came as an ‘add on’. Not only dancing on the D day, we enjoyed practicing and preparing for it. We are definitely going to miss that now.
Some of us were stepping our foot on stage for the first time and were really nervous but we kept telling ourselves – let’s do our best and forget about whether we get the prize or not ( we are so used to telling these dialogues to our children that now we can go on efforlessly about such talk !!)
Dancing apart we discovered many things during the three weeks practice sessions-

• We formed a few new friendships.
• Deepika was reluctant to dance as she had always believed that she had two left feet. To her pleasant surprise she has now discovered that like every one else she too has one right and one left foot
• Rama Raghvan and Rasika are indispensable; we couldn’t have managed without them. They were there not only to give us physical and moral support but also to make sure that we put our best foot forward.
• Divya is a great host. She opened her heart , house and kitchen to make sure that we felt at home

Why walk on moon when you can't walk safely on earth

As the TV channels show the wild dance of terror playing out on the streets of Bombay, I am reminded of this verse by Rabindranath Tagore.
Today neither our mind is without fear nor the head is held high. Read More

You can help

How many of us are thankful of what we have? ‘Count your blessings’ that’s what strikes you first when you visit AWMD (Association for the Welfare of The Mentally Disabled) in Udaygiri Mysore. People crib about not having a son or pray for a daughter but there is a large chunk of population who have children born with mental disabilities and the only thing that matters to them is that their child irrespective of gender should be able to live somewhat like normal child at least become independent functionally. Brainchild of Mr. Manohar, this NGO aims at making differently abled people function normally and independently and ultimately aims at making them financially independent. The children are trained in early care where they are taught basic self care like using the toilet, brushing teeth. The early intervention program was conceived with the intention of helping large number of children together. Children visit AWMD once a week with their mothers. Both the child and the mother are trained in self care so that it can be followed up at home. This training is generally imparted for 6 months. Vocational programme trains them in various vocational activities like candle making, mat making, paper baskets, dustbins, paper bags et al.

How you can help:
Be a volunteer
Help in marketing the products made by children. You could put up a stall in your company/ school/college/building
Help in finding employment for the trained beneficiaries
If time is at a premium Sponsor a child- Rs 500/month
To know more details contact: manoemohan@gmail.com , Manohar- 98450 98635

My heart weeps ...

My heart weeps for those who have lost their loved ones in Mumbai terror attack. The children who lost their parents in the attack. The child who lost his mother in the attack. The image of terrorists shooting his mother will haunt him for entire life. How will a small child live without his mother? What will happen to his ambitions, his dreams… each moment.. each breath that he will take will remind him of his mother. He will long for the coziness of sleeping with mother, mother’s touch, her smile, fragrance of her clothes and even her scolding … what had he done to deserve this punishment? There is no substitute for a mother. I am depressed, angry and disappointed that I am living in a country where anyone can shoot at will and there is no security of life. Where 10 young men barely out of their teens can hold an entire nation to ransom. Is it Jungle raj? I have no reason to be hopeful in future. This is the price we have to pay for electing and tolerating corrupt, incapable and inefficient politicians.
If I have escaped this time, I may not be lucky next time. With no hope for future that things will be better off in India, who knows when my time will come. Today I want to sit with my children and tell them stories that they have been asking for days and cook their favorite dish. Who knows tomorrow I may be killed by the bullet of an insane terrorist.
….a mother

Let us put our house in order first

Post 11/26, life will not be same for any Indian for a very long time to come and never ever for those whose any of their kith and kin has perished in Mumbai attack or even for those who have escaped the attack by a whisker. The images of gun bearing terrorists will always haunt those who have lived to tell the tale of horror minute by minute.
As soon as the news of Mumbai attack, the worst so far on Indian soil spread , the Prime Minister Mr. Manmohan Singh washed his hands off by announcing quickly that it was a handiwork of Pakistan. This piece is not about whether Pakistan is involved in this act or not. Even if at this stage of investigation it is believed that Pakistan has directly or indirectly supported this heinous act, let us ask ourselves what have we done to prevent it?
This is not the first time that an act of terror has taken place on India’s soil. For the past one year, it has been the order of the month. Hardly a month passes without any news of blast in one or the other part of the country so much so that a minor blast with one or two causalities gets only a brief mention in media. The terrorists have become bolder and their numbers are increasing day by day. This time they surpassed the imagination of even Hollywood script writers. The plan for Mumbai attack was not put together in hurry. It was the outcome of months and perhaps years of planning. For sure, it went through many alterations since its original plan and must have gone through several trails before the final act of disaster that was executed to have maximum damage.
The first question we need to ask ourselves what our intelligence services were doing all these months? Why didn’t they get to unearth anything about it? If they had some clue about it then why didn’t they act in time? No point blaming others now, the damage has already been done. If our intelligence officers are not capable then why they are there in the first place? Like private sector, incase of non performance why they are not given pink slips?
Secondly, it is not only the duty but the job of the Coast Guard Services to protect our sea borders. Are they really protecting our borders? How can twelve armed men enter our borders with bags full of grenades and arms through sea route without anyone knowing about it? For sure, the terrorists must have checked this route for their safe arrival. Did we have confidence in the capability of Coast Guard? If not then no one will be a bigger fool than our government to believe that no enemy can enter our country through sea route. If they are not well equipped or trained then it should have been the prime priority of the government to provide them with required arms and instruments to execute their job fully.
Every time there is talk of outsiders penetrating our borders, India’s ‘porous borders’ becomes the lame excuse. The defense of the country should be the top most priority of our government at what ever cost. If lack of funds is the issue then it is advisable to dismiss the mission to moon and divert the money for defense of the country. Let us walk safely on earth first before we learn to walk on moon.
India’s police force has been the laughing stocks for years. Has our government taken any steps to equip them with modern arms and ammunition to prepare them for facing such a war? We expect pot bellied revolver bearing policemen to take on AK 47 trotting agile well trained terrorists.
We have the habit of waking up from our slumber only after the damage is done, we think of everything possible to prevent the next attack but again have lackadaisical attitude when nothing happens for some time. Now hotels will have fool proof security, spend heavily on safety of guests but will forget everything soon only to be woken up after the next attack. When it was expected that terrorists will hit again and hit really hard then why such casual attitude towards providing security to its guests? Why hotels have multiple entrances, why can’t there be just two entrances - one for guests and one for service staff. Is it so difficult to provide heavy weight security at just two points in a hotel which is on terrorist hit list? Isn’t a stitch in time better than two later?
Why NSG is located only at Delhi, why not in all metros and why train only NSG officers, why can’t our police men be trained in this? If NSG was located at Mumbai then this terror scene would have got over much earlier and many precious lives could be saved.
We blame our government for not doing anything for our safety. It is ironical that the public is helpless in a democracy. Is there no way to morally pressurize our government to deliver? Our government makes quick plans for our safety bothering little about its execution. Should we believe that the terrorists have read our mind and got scared just by our thinking of taking a few measures for the prevention of next terrorist act? Unless we put our house in order, it is heartening to state that this Mumbai attack will not be the last heinous crime on India’s soil

Childhood sans innocence

Last Saturday, I happened to be a judge at a creative writing competition for children from 9 – 13 years. The children were asked to imagine and write a story based on a picture showing sea, fishes and a few sea animals like octopus in it. Children came up with innovative thoughts and weaved stories. I was much distressed to read that most of the children had used the words commandos, RDX, hijack, kidnap, bullets, security, terrorist and built the stories around these lines; some of them had portrayed octopus as the terrorist who had come in a ship to kill fishes.
Where is the innocence of children gone? Can they think life beyond bomb blasts, terrorists ? It is sad that their vocabulary is laced with such words which we had not even heard of in our childhood. Where are the fairytale thoughts in which the good always overpowers evil? It is not only sad but scary too … what kind of upbringing and culture are we giving to our children where bomb blasts are the part of life and terrorists are not fictional characters.

Mom, I haven't won the prize…

“Why didn’t my child get a prize, he was so good?”, “How come that child was given the first position, she was so ordinary?” Hmm do these reactions sound familiar?
We often hear people accusing the judges of a competition for the bias decision. It is easy to accuse the authorities and judges for the unfair judgment when you are one of the participants but come to the other side of the fence and you will say ‘I wish I was on the other side’. The same happened to me last week when I was invited to be one of the judges for a fancy dress competition at St. Joseph’s Central school. Participating is far easier than pronouncing the Best amongst the best. This is more so when all of them have put in their best foot forward. The dejected faces of children who are not the winners melt your heart and make you feel guilty.
There is always a debate without any conclusion on whether young children should be made to go through the emotional ordeal of facing competition. One school of thought states that not fetching the first place amounts to failure and leads to emotional imbalance for young children. Why should the tiny tots be made to go through these emotional traumas at a young age? Right! But isn’t competition the most important reality of life and the earlier they learn about it the better it is for them. Regarding that emotional imbalance, it can be handled pretty well by children if parents do not put undue pressure on their children to be the winner. It will be a part of the game for the child if she/he sees a big smile on mom’s face even when she/he doesn’t bring a trophy home. Isn’t participation as fun as winning a prize? School teachers too can pitch in by not giving partial treatment to those children who win the competition and encouraging other children to try their best.
It was a great show but the highlight of the event was not the brilliant show put up by primary school children but the discipline and time management practiced by the school. The show started at the pre announced hour irrespective of who is present and who is not. When one of the judges failed to turn up at the designated time, the principal Mrs. Joyce Lobo took the instant decision to request someone else to judge the event instead of waiting for the judge who was held up. In sharp contrast to this I am reminded of an event when a chief guest made the audience wait for two hours in the hot sun.
I wonder why we appreciate these values in childhood but tend to forget them as we grow up. Any answers?

Dostana

Homosexuality! Nope, that’s not the theme of Dostana. The theme is fun, friendship and love triangle in that order. Directed by Tarun Mansukhani and produced by Karan Johar, it is quite different from KJ’s other movies…no family emotional drama, rona dhona, marriage songs, Shah Rukh Khan and his other trade marks scenes. Priyanka Chopra looks awesome in tini mini outfits. The show of skin in Hindi movies is quite taken for granted these days. Hindi cinema has really come far off from the days when heroines had to give long interviews and say stuff like ‘it was the demand of the scene’ like dialogues, to justify their wearing anything above knees. Now wearing a bikini looks like a normal dress in movies.
Kiron Kher rocks and retains her title of a Punjabi mother Number 1. Abhishek Bachchan is a better actor as compared to his other movies especially his gay acts in this movie. John Abraham focuses more on show of skin than acting. Bobby Doel is too stiff. He needs to reconsider his decision of re entering films. Shah Rukh Khan in guest appearance in Bobby’s role would have been a wiser choice. Though it would have taken the lime light away from JA and AB but KJ’s lucky charm would have made a far better business and commercial sense. Are you still wondering if it is family movie? It is a movie which can be watched with your entire clan even with your young children as the earlier they learn about these taboo concepts the better it is and what a better teacher than AB/JA who put on the gay act to rent an apartment.

Cherishing Good Friendships

It has been more than six years since I shifted from Bangalore to Mysore. Life in Mysore is in totally contrast with Bangalore’s. Here average time spent on commuting to work place is 20 minutes. There is no need to wait for the weekend to do your shopping or visit a friend; since everything is so close by and driving is not a nightmare you may very well do it any day. Mysore is a laid back city; here people have ‘take it easy’ attitude which is good but irritating at times. Everyone is busy but no one is really in hurry. People have the luxury of living life at their own pace.
It’s been six years and I have started appreciating the + points of easy going life. I don’t miss Bangalore at all not even its action packed life, pubs, malls, shopping, airport, ample job opportunities, connectivity and traffic jams. But I miss Madhayam and the people associated with it. Madhayamites share a unique bond. It was quite refreshing meeting them all at Diwali get together last week; thanks to Rakesh and Vandana for the invite.
A small cultural show put by the Madhayamites exhibited not only the talent but also a great chemistry amongst the members.
After all, in life nothing is more fulfilling than cherishing a few good friendships.

Hyderabad

The overnight train journey from Bangalore to Hyderabad was very comfortable but you don’t get good dinner in the train. So it is advisable to carry dinner with you.

With so much of hype about the city, the first impression about the city as you set foot on it - it is over crowed. There is no traffic sense at all. Vehicles use every inch of space on the road. It is free way for all. If you can drive in Hyderabad, you can drive any where in India. I still don’t understand how pedestrians cross the roads. There are no pedestrian crossings and traffic won’t stop at all for you. The first day we had to hire an auto to cross the road. By the end of 5th day, we could master the art of crossing the road. In fact it was quite simple. The trick is to signal the approaching vehicles to slow down with your hand and you criss cross your way in between the moving vehicles to reach the other side of the road.
Spitting city – the second impression I got about the city is - it is very filthy. There is no civic sense amongst public at all. What you see around is filth and garbage. It is a common sight to see people opening the door of Mercs at the traffic signal to spit on the road.

Shopping experience – it may be a shopping paradise but our shopping experience was different. Shop keepers are not courteous especially the saree shops. They don’t like if you want to unwrap the saree, admire it and then buy; they want you to buy first and then unwrap at home. Perhaps we are pampered shoppers in Mysore. Here they not only open the pieces fully and show but drape and model it for you also. They want you to admire the piece even if you don’t end up buying anything. As far as pampering the shoppers is concerned , Punjab and Delhi are one step ahead , as you start showing serious interest in their products, out will go the call ‘ Chootu jara thanda lana madam ke leye’ . Ultimately you end up buying more than you require.
If you are on pearl shopping, make sure you get 35% discount. It is a common practice more so in big stores. Just take out your visiting card and avail 35% but you don’t get unless you ask for it.

Hyderabadi biryani- It is simply superb. So much talk about Hyderabadi biryani, it is much better than that. You are really missing out on something if you are a vegetarian in Hyderabad. Three best places for biryani- Paradise, Bawarchi and Bahar. Paradise’s one day business is Rs 10 lakh and there is one floor dedicated to take away. There is no match to Hyderabadi Biryani.

Salarjung museum- I had read about tourist attractions of Hyderabad in my history book in 7th standard, more than twenty five years later my sons read about the same attractions. Alas they are not attractive any more. People recommended us to spend at least a day in the museum; we visited all the rooms in the museums and finished it in 90 minutes. The artifacts and collections are marvelous but our experience would have been better if things were little more organized there. There are no direction boards or arrow marks so you don’t know how much you have seen and how much is yet to be seen. We were keen on seeing Nizam’s jewelry but that section was closed. We were informed by one security guard that there are 46 rooms.

Charminar- anybody who goes to Hyderabad will not come back without visiting the historic monument so why make an effort to maintain the place? As you climb it, dirty walls with graffiti all over welcome you to make sure that you go back totally disappointed. So if you have not visited charminar you have not missed anything. Life is cheap in India. In spite of so much talk about security measures, this place has an unsecured fence. No metal detectors, no frisking by security guards.

Lad bazaar- it is a bangle bazaar with bangles of all varieties and colors but you will be looted if you don’t know the art of bargaining. If you have the patience to haggle, you can get 50 % bargains.

Banjara & Jubli hills area is totally different from rest of the city. It is cleaner, better roads, less traffic. Your impression about Hyderabad depends on which area you visit. Since we visited Secunderabad first, our first impression of this city was – filthy city. Even the residents are confused about the concept of twin city, you don’t know where one city ends and where another begins and how they are divided. Don’t bother too much just ask someone and go on. But whatever you do, don’t miss the biryani.
I would like to visit Hyderabad again for two reasons; I could not visit Ramoji film city and another of course for Biryani...more is still less.

Karvachauth ka chand

It is almost a month since I blogged. Actually I have written a post on my trip to Hyderabad but haven’t posted it, nothing just feeling lazy to select pics for the post. Will do it by this week end. Yes weekend? Friday was Karvachauth. People down south do not know much about this ‘fast’ except those who watch Hindi movies and Ekta Kapoor serials. Have you watched Dil Wale... where Kajol keeps fast for Shahrukh Khan and breaks her fast by drinking water from his hands? Got it, that’s Karvachauth!
When I see myself performing all the rituals of this fast, I feel the more things change the more they remain the same. Well, it is more looked as an opportunity for married women to deck up, flaunt their bridal outfit and best of their jewellery. Forget about the remaining hungry part, remaining hungry for a day detoxifies the system. One should look at the positive side of it.
I went for the pooja at 4 in the evening where married women from age group 22 to 65 had come to perform the karvachauth pooja.
You are allowed to drink a cup of tea or a glass of juice after the pooja. The food is eaten only after moon appears in the sky. First you see moon with a strainer and then you see your husband with the strainer and break your fast. Don’t ask me why we do with a strainer as I don’t know. Since the inception of 24 hours transmission, as soon as the moon appears in one part of the country, the pics of Karvachauth’s moon are transmitted on the T.V for the benefit of women in other parts of the country where it is cloudy and moon is not visible and it enables them to stay float for some more time as ' When moon appears in Delhi, Bangalore is not far behind'.
But how do you break your fast if your hubby is traveling? I tell you if you are so orthodox and traditional that you don’t want to break your fast without looking at your hubby and he is not in town, try video conferencing. After all what is the use of technology if it cannot perpetuate traditions?

How observant are we?

Last week I had the privilege to be an invitee to a Rajasthani theme party hosted by a close friend. The hosts hail from the picturesque Rajasthan state. Since the theme was ‘Rajasthan’ the guests came dressed up in colorful Rajasthani attire. Needless to mention the cuisine was purely Rajasthani with dishes like gatte, dal bati choorma, ghevar etc. Like a typical Rajathani woman, Lata played the perfect host and had put in lot of effort to prepare the mouth watering Rajasthani dishes.
The theme party would have remained incomplete without testing the awareness quotient of the guests on Rajasthan. Prepared by Pradeep, it was a simple but very creative quiz with questions about forts, palaces, deserts and celebrities of Rajasthan but most of us failed miserably.
“I have heard about this fort/place but I am not very sure about it” was the most common response to all the questions. Though we had heard/read about these places many times but we were still not very confident. Many of us did not even know the city of their( host) origin.
Information is all around us but do we really grasp even half of it?
Having a theme party about a place is an excellent way to generate interst in that place as it is a human tendency to find out the answers to unanswered questions and to learn more about it.
The moot question is –
Do we really pay attention to people even our close friends when they talk about themselves? In the past 6 years I have spoken /met Lata umpteenth times but are we really paying attention to things around us? Is it that we are unconcerned about others even the people close to us or we have the ‘not my business’ attitude?
Perhaps the same attitude is carried in others things. If we think we are directly or indirectly benefitting from this( a conversation/ lecture, information, piece of knowledge), we pay attention or else not. I did not even know that Lata’s and my son who are the best of friends have the same birth place. Are we becoming indifferent to things around us and absorb only what is benefitting us directly?
These days we believe in superficial relationships. This is the world of ‘Let me mind my own business and you mind yours’. Though we may not be practicing this delibrately but over a period of time, it becomes a habit with us.

Shall I tell the truth to Rahul?

Bringing up new generation children is a tough task and bringing up sensitive children who ask lots of questions for which parents may not have the logical and appropriate answer is even tougher. Last week, I happened to meet Suresh Oberoi, the yester year veteran actor at a club. Rahul, my nine years old son became very friendly with him and bombarded him with questions for all the two hours that we all were together. Though Rahul has not seen any of his movies but based on his thinking and imagination , he found lots of things to talk about. The actor answered all his questions patiently and jokingly called Rahul a ‘BBC reporter’.
Suresh Oberoi is a very friendly gentleman and he was nice and polite with who ever he met there.
The actor invited Rahul to his house in Mumbai during Christmas holidays and asked him to stay with his family in his house. The issue is not whether to accept the invitation or not. The issue is Rahul has taken the invitation at its face value …really seriously.

Rahul: Was uncle really serious when he invited me to his house?
Me: Yes , he was ( I didn’t want to break his heart)

Rahul: Then why didn’t he give me his landline or mobile number ? Has he fooled me ? why did he fool me?
Me: Speechless

I have no answers to these questions. Celebrities like to be nice and friendly to people they meet especailly children. I do not want to tell him that the actor was just being friendly and nothing else I do not want to hurt my son.
I cannot also tell him that actor has invited him genuinely because that in all probablity is not true.
Rahul is a very sensitive boy; these days he remains in deep thoughts and after the first few questions hasn’t spoken on this subject. I know that some thoughts are going on his mind which he is not sharing. I don’t know how to give logical answer to his queries.
As a mother should have I stopped the actor from telling something to a child which he doesn’t mean even if it was just an act of being friendly and nice. I am confused. Shall the tell the truth to Rahul?

Bachna Ae Haseeno

What stays the most in your mind after watching the movie for close to three hours is the title song. The movie opens with the title track evoking cheers and whistles from the young and young at heart in the audience. It seems the music composer and lyricist spent all their energies on the title song and they were too exhausted to worry about the rest of the songs in the movie. As far as songs are concerned all the three women in the movie get a fair deal, one number each with the hero. Out of three babes, Bips is the best perhaps she has the best script written for her. Deepika doesn’t leave a lasting impression as she doesn’t have much to do. Minnisha Lamba though she does justice to her role but looks like any of the typical fair Sikh girls in Punjab nothing more nothing less. The first half is fun and entertainment and the story unfolds quickly whereas in the next half the director is little confused on how to wrap up the story. Overall, the movie is good but the second half could be more impressive with a better script. Ranbir Kapoor is a natural actor and is almost a veteran now after this movie.
Locations are excellent. If nothing else you can feast your eyes on the wonderful locations and envy the stars who get to shoot at such exotic locations. With so much of hype about the movie, you will feel left out if you don’t watch the movie even once.

Partition Days Memoirs

Listening to partition time anecdotes from their grandmother is the favorite pass time for my children. My mother migrated to India from Sargodha in Pakistan along with her parents and brother. There is one story that I distinctly remember and often ask her to narrate. At the time of partition, the Hindus who migrated from Pakistan had to stay in refugee camps for few weeks till some permanent arrangements could be made for them. Families who possessed movable and immovable properties in Pakistan moved to India with just two or three suitcases. The same was true for Muslims in India who were forced to leave everything in India and go to Pakistan almost empty handed. For most of us, who were born in post independence era, it is difficult to imagine how it is possible to pack all your life’s savings and memories in just three suitcases and start life afresh.
The refugees stayed in crammed rooms. In one such camp there were eighty people who used to sleep in one 12 by 18 sq ft room. There was not enough room to stretch fully. They took turns to stretch. Their luggage was piled in one corner almost touching the roof. All of them shared one single make shift toilet.
During the day, they stayed and cooked in the open ground in front of the room. One day, one vendor came to the camp to sell oranges at a cheap price. Since refugees did not have much to eat many people bought oranges from him. One young boy who was my mother’s neighbor in Sargodha was also staying in the camp along with his parents; he bought five oranges and offered it to my grandmother. My grandmother was furious to see the oranges. She reprimanded the boy and said, “The people are dying of hunger and getting killed in front of your eyes every where and you are thinking of eating oranges, take away your oranges; neither my children nor I will even touch any of these oranges.”
The boy was very attached to my grandmother and got upset to hear the bitter words. In anger, he threw the oranges across the wall. Just after few minutes, there was hue and cry everywhere in the camp. The people who ate the oranges sold by the vendor were dying as the oranges were injected with lethal poison. Within minutes, thirty five refugees including women and children lay dead in front of them.
The boy came running to my grandmother, touched her feet and said, ‘Ma, you have saved us all, we all would have been dead if you would have accepted the oranges”

Not now, I am busy!

I don’t have time’ is the most common statement used in professional and perhaps personal life. Not replying to e - mails in time, delayed work, reaching late for appointments et al and for every no show the most common excuse is ‘I am very busy, I don’t have time’.
Everyone seems to be very busy. There are some who pack many things in a day’s work where as there are others who remain busy all the time, complain constantly about lack of time and ultimately achieve nothing much in a day. On introspection, we would realize that those who make the worse use of their time are the first to complain of its scarcity. What is wastage of time? Is working, relaxing, reading, talking, playing wastage of time? None of these. It is not the quantity but the quality of work that is important. Bad or no planning, not prioritizing the work, procrastination, habit of not saying ‘No’ and other such time stealers tick away the time to nowhere. By the time you realize, it is already end of the day with hardly anything substantial done during the day. Though we talk about doing many things in a day but ultimately we really don’t do too many things in a day. We remain busy because we are only talking about them and taking unnecessary stress.

Catch me if you can

I have a huge collection of video cassettes though half of them are not in the working condition and the other half cannot be played as the video cassette recorder itself is not in the working condition. Read More

Cyptic e-mails

A large part of the first impressions you create on others come from posture, expression, eye-contact and gestures. Studies indicate that 55% of communication happens through body language, 38% through tone (paralanguage), while just 7% happens through words. Being in a profession where I need to communicate through e-mails with people from different walks of life, professions, ages and gender, I have come to believe that e-mails too exude body language and a major part of the message can be comprehended through the sender’s choice of font, font size, punctuation marks, spacing etc. It is interesting to read between the lines and understand the sender’s mood and emotions. Short forms used in the e-mails like u, v, 2, 4, wanna, luv, ur indicate that the sender is a carefree and casual person and is not very serious about the message or, in short, at this moment you are not taken very seriously by the sender. A mail festooned with gestures like smiles, frowns, etc reflects the emotive mood of the sender — jovial or gloomy.
On the other hand, a mail complete with all the punctuation marks and appropriate spacing between words and paragraphs not only emanate the professional attitude of the sender but also indicates that he or she is ‘to the point’. It also conveys that the sender is a kind of person who values the relationship. A simple, unambiguous and brief mail with clear queries points towards the sincerity and no nonsense nature.

A mail addressed to you by your first name specifies intimacy and conveys that the sender is keen on building a rapport with you whereas a mail beginning with the message or a simple ‘hi’ connotes that you are one amongst many and don’t have a special place in the sender’s heart. Some of the mails are quite challenging and one needs to go over it a few times to understand things left unsaid. This is particularly true of a mail written fully in upper cases (caps). It may mean one of the two things — either the sender is yelling at you for something or the Caps Lock key was left on by mistake!

What are dreams made of?

In Chandigarh, when I was in school, I remember a friend who lived exactly six houses away. She was always very simply dressed and wore boyish clothes. She did not exhibit any ‘style’ in dressing, talking or anything else which generally the high school girls and boys like to exhibit at that age. Very unassuming character, all I remember about her is playing cricket and talking about becoming a pilot. She went to a non- convent school and was an average student. One thing I clearly remember about her that she was very bold and would often take out her kolhapuri chappal if any boy passed a remark at any of us. My mother felt very safe if I would go anywhere with her. We would meet every afternoon and either sit in my room or stand at the gate and chat for hours about irrelevant things. Unlike the children of these days, we didn’t have to run from one activity class to another to unearth our hidden talents.
After high school, we went to different colleges and got busy in our own lives. Few years later I shifted residence and we gradually lost touch with each other.
Fast forward to seventeen years later…
Last week I learnt that Sunita Sharma is Capt. Sunita Sharma now. She is not only trained commercial pilot but also has been a flying instructor for the past fourteen years. At present she is working with Kingfisher airlines.
My mind goes back to flashback. The face of that plain Jane, thin, tom boyish girl flashes my mind who was an average person by all standards. Yesterday I spoke to her. She was taking a day’s break after flying. We spoke over the phone for an hour or so, talked about good old days, spoke about relevant as well as irrelevant things and giggled on silly things. It was as if nothing had changed in the past two decades.
Two morals of the story: Dreams do come true; you should have belief in them and the perseverance to make them true. One doesn’t need to be a superhero to do extra ordinary in life. The bigger moral - old is gold, nothing like childhood friendships.

Duties are as sacred as rights!

Democracy is a strange beast. History is replete with stories of nations shedding blood to have a small pie of democracy; on the other hand unrestricted democracy and freedom is said to create more problems than it resolves. Read More

Cell ored

Just a decade ago, owning a mobile phone was a luxury. Today, it is neither a luxury nor it is just a phone.
Forget about mobiles. There was a time not so long ago when one had to measure the red tape length wise for eight to ten years to get a phone connection. In this fast track age, mobile phones have become indispensable for us. We wonder how life existed without cell phones. Today’s fast paced world requires us to multi task not only to stay ahead of the competition but just to stay afloat. Mobile phone is one of the innumerable technological devices that help us keep in touch not only with the outside world but with our inner self. With time, they are becoming smaller in size but better and wider in features. Rightly so, you can judge a person by the mobile phone he keeps. While on my way to office every day, on the six km stretch I marvel at the sight of people balancing their tiny handsets between their right ear and neck. Doing this while riding a two wheeler is a true test of their driving skills and requires courage and speaks volume about their ‘I care a damn attitude’. Causalities in the road accidents due to cell phone usage become mere statistics. We are capable of using our cell phones all the time and don’t feel shy of using them during presentations, interviews, lectures just to communicate ‘I am in a meeting and will speak to you later’. We often forget that all mobile phones come with a key to put it on silent mode. Mobile phone was invented to improve our communication but has this really improved communication? Have we made new friends or are our relationship better just because it is anytime anywhere communication now? Definitely not.
Earlier we made an effort to remember the important dates and numbers, now this is done by our computer or phone. Our life revolves around this tiny gadget. We can live without our family or friends but not without our cell phone.

Chained……

By Kavya Shankre Gowda
Let me warn you. You have no choice but to finish reading this write up now or else bad luck will befall on you in the next few days. It happened about a month ago. A reader paused to attend to personal necessities after reading the first paragraph of one of my previous article and forgot to return. Before he could blink, Mike Tyson appeared from no where and bit his ears.
However, if you read this column every month and e-mail your friends about it, you will be showered with nothing but good luck.
Okay, okay, I'll stop.
Did you believe me when I said you must read this article or you will invite bad luck in your life in the coming days?. Are you one of those internet freaks who believe and forward every chain letter that you receive? Chain letters that annoy but still you fall for it.
What are chain letters? Anything that says "If you do not forward this e-mail then bad luck will prevail forever and if you forward this to 5 people then something( Like your boss will not assign you any task) good will happen within 5 minutes" or something along that line is considered a chain letter. Not just that but anything that gets forwarded to so many people even if there are no promises of good luck, like virus alerts or asking help for a cancer patient is considered a chain letter!
The most common form of chain letter nowadays are friendship stories, wishes and poems that urge you to pass them to everyone in your address book. Most of them promise a favorable but mostly impossible outcome if you pass it on to enough people.
There are more, like for every person you forward the message to; Microsoft will send you $500 or so. If you believe this then you badly need to brush up your math. Have you ever wondered that handing out $500 each to an ever-expanding number of people would bankrupt even Bill Gates? Or how on earth would he get your bank account number to fill it up?
I got an "Angel Wish" chain letter from a friend last week but instead of telling me to forward it; she asked if I could write about the stupidity of it. And that’s what made me write this article.
What's the big deal about these chain letters then? Is this really a problem? One website explains: "There are two main problems, which affect any type of chain letter. The first is quite simple; the sheer volume of mail generated by a successful chain letter clogs up mail servers and connections, slowing down the whole Internet. The second problem is even more annoying. Did you ever wonder where the scum who keep offering you credit cards and related spam got your email address? They buy addresses in bulk from "marketing" companies (you've probably been offered some of these as well.) Where do the "marketing" companies get addresses? Absolutely anywhere. Take a look at a chain letter. Isn't it great how the names and, often, email addresses of everyone it's been sent to are listed on it? I've counted over 200 email addresses visible on one chain letter. A simple program can strip all of these from the message, ready to be sold to someone who will then send you ten messages a day offering you a free life insurance quote. Whoever sent the chain letter to you has already, quite unintentionally, exposed you to this risk. Please don't expose anyone else. A related tip: When forwarding jokes (which are not chain letters, because they benefit everyone that receives them and not just some geek) clear out all the email addresses on it before forwarding. This both makes life hard for spammers and reduces the size of the message, so it sends faster."
There is a solution to this chain-letter plague. Delete them. If a poem touched and inspired you deeply, you may save it, print it, pin it on your wall, but please do not forward it to others.
Finally, every rule has an exception. If you ask your pals to read this article, I won't mind. In fact, I'm encouraging you to do it and all the good things that you've been experiencing will continue to happen to you.
For example, the sun will still rise in the east tomorrow.

Super Star India: From Incredible to Unstoppable

By Mubeen Khan
Shobha De who recently turned 60 celebrated it by coming out with a book called Super Star India: From Incredible to Unstoppable.
De's new book draws a co-relation between the author and the country's age that is 60 years of independence and how India is evolving into a superpower. Characteristically in her latest book, De tries her hand at social commentary and serves up what is supposed to be a congratulatory and formal expression of praise to a confident and resurgent India. Whatever De’s intent might have been, what the reader gets, however, is a catalogue of all that is shameful in India. Poverty, hunger, social inequities and the less than commendable attitude of Indian men towards women in general; all of these find a place in this hall of shame. Why the writer would choose this particular title for a book that chronicles India’s negatives in such detail is hard to fathom. At the end of each section, where she details the ills of our country, there are a few lines about how and why India is unstoppable. For this book, De has turned an observer of the Indian society at large and gives a vivid picture of our problems but takes care to simultaneously inform the reader of the privileged perch from which she does her observation.
The funny part is that De takes great pains to emphasize her own credentials as one from the upper crust by writing that 'The Ambanis live in their palatial residence-not far from where I stay' or talking about her globe-trotting with specific attention on the place of stay (either a five star or expensive clubs).
There is a mention of reference to various high-end brands everything from Cartier watches to Fendi bags to Gucci to Prada stuff that is clearly out of reach for 99 per cent of India's population. To use this as a barometer for any kind of India’s progress is in itself very skewed.
De’s writing style has been well-honed over decades of writing and editing society magazines for years now. Popularly known as the queen bee of Penguin India Like all other De writings, it's an easy read, though it's a bit of an irritant to see her pepper sentences with Hindi words like, 'Goli Maro, ajeeb, halaath to the skeptics. She also in her writing employs phrases like "pretty confused", "pretty sinister" which will give you an idea of her literary style too.
In the end, it's a book that if read should be done a section at a time with time gaps in between. Although it is a book that does not add up to much, the tone is too elitist and too narrow in its assumptions. It is very much like a drawing room discussion where nothing is verifiable and anything goes.
Happy Reading if you choose to read!

Home Based Jobs, Get Rich Quick Schemes & Scams

Kiran Kumar, CEO, forexveda.com , a Foreign Exchange Trading company shares a very informative piece on Scams and how to avoid getting caught in the scam web

Congratulations: you have inherited $ 12 million. Let me hear from you URGENTLY by my private e-mail address: dr_dereklamber@yahoo.co.ukPHONE:+44-703-183-4622
How many times have you seen such e - mails in your inbox? Though we know that even a known person will not give Rs 1200 for no reason but in our heart we want to believe this stranger now dead in some far away country who of all the people in the world thought of leaving $ 12 million for you. Let's think hypothetically, even if this were true, will the person who is sending you this mail, choose to reveal such important information merely through an email. Won't he come and meet you personally and give this good news? Many of us sensible people just ignore this and laugh it off as a wishful thinking but still there are some who believe this and go all the way replying to the mail and enquiring details about it and ultimately falling into the trap. Before the better sense prevails to them and they realize that it was a fraud, much harm has already been done and instead of recipient of the email getting any money, he realizes that he has lost not only his peace of mind but also some money in the transit. Adding one more to the list of scams is internet scam. These scams originate in various forms but the objective of all the scams is to extract as much money from you. These scams clearly state that the transaction is absolutely clear and you need not pay anything but as you start communicating with them and getting into their trap, you end up paying a few thousand dollars as a courier charges or agent's fees. 'After all what's the harm in paying $10,000 as courier charges when you are getting $12 million', one may think. Many well educated people who are computer savvy and are well versed with evils of internet have succumbed to the pressures from internet. Perhaps the thought of getting rich in a jiffy is too strong that we lose our common sense and see no harm in trying. The modus operandi is same in all these scams. They never ask for money in the beginning. Once you start communicating with them, they say that they have sent money through an agent and you will have to pay the courier charges. People who believe, send the money for the courier. It may end there or they may start getting demand for more money for various reasons. "In one such incident, a client of mine showed he has 36 million dollars in his bank account in first caveman bank. It took me few minutes to find out there is no such bank" tells Kiran Kumar, CEO, Forexveda.comRecently CNN IBN reported about a girl in Delhi who stole a few lakhs from her company to pay those Nigerians who lured her in to an internet scam. She was later arrested by the police.Most of the Home based Jobs, get rich quick schemes and Internet scams fall under one category. If it was so easy to earn Rs 15,000 in a month by working for just two hours, all the organizations adhering to eight hour working shift will close down. Why only internet, newspapers are loaded with advertisements about getting rich quickly, work two hours a day and earn Rs 20,000 in a month. Internet is a place where you find thousands of get rich quick kind of schemes. People who don't understand the work from home concept still fall prey for these schemes.
Earning money through GoogleOne can advertise in Google as well as become a Google partner and let companies advertise in their websites. One has to have high traffic to the website/webpage and each click on the advertisement gets them a small money. Search engines are smarter than we think, before giving us money these search engines make sure that the clicks are genuine. This is again not the right way of earning money online and people end up paying money to middlemen who promise to teach them the tricks. If these clicks are fake, it is possible for them to track it down. The penalty can be cancellation of your account. Network Marketing
Network marketing is another way of earning money but selling is not everyone's cup of coffee. These are called MLM or in people's lingo 'chain schemes' 90% of the people who join these schemes lose money because they fail to sell these schemes to their friends.
Day Trading in Stock market
I was surprised when I read some investment advisors recommending day trading in stock market as a good work from home /home based business opportunity. In day trading mostly brokers make money through brokerages. Most of the day traders lose money in day trading. Online trading is one of the toughest professions and one must be very careful in investing in day trading. Do not trust people who only talk about profits, but not risks associated with the trading.
Mutual Funds and Unit Linked Insurance Products
Investments in Mutual funds and ULIPs are exposed to risk as the asset management companies invest your money in the stock market. Recently a well reputed insurance company collected crores of rupees from the market for their insurance scheme. Company did not offer high returns but their agents did. People invested money going on the verbal assurances from the insurance agents. The tip is to ask the agent to give their promises in writing before trusting them and investing their hard earned money. Be an Insurance agent is another way to earn money.
Most of the Insurance companies find it easier to sell their products by recruiting large number of insurance agents. They advertise like this " Be your own boss. Work 2 hours a day and earn more than Rs. 20,000 a month" People are lured into this profession by development managers with attractive commissions and renewal commissions. Insurance companies have appointed more than 20,000 insurance agents in Mysore alone. Those who join as insurance agents manage to sell few policies within their circles. Most of them drop out in the 2nd year as they exhaust all their contacts in the first year. These people don't even earn their renewal commissions. They cannot go to court to demand renewal commissions as they don't get anything in writing from these Insurance companies about renewal commissions. When you join as an Insurance agent, ask the company to give you the commission structure in writing. Some companies give the proposal letter in their letter head but commission structure will be on a plain white paper. This holds no good when you try to demand the renewal commissions.
It does not mean that anything mentioned on internet about earning money is fraud. Internet provides ample opportunities to make money but one should know how to make use of it. One must use common sense while getting in to these kind of schemes. Schemes try to get members by showing few examples of people who have made lot of money. In the days of online learning, learning about how internet can be used to your advantage is child's play. “People with good understanding of the internet can surely make lot of money but there is no get rich quick scheme in Internet. One has to really work hard to make money. People with just one or two hours of spare time a day shouldn't venture into online business expecting huge income” - says Kiran Kumar
Internet is not good or bad as far as earning money is concerned. It is up to you how you use it to your advantage or disadvantage.

Brand in your customer’s mind

An intersting piece by Kavya Shankre Gowda
One of the truths of modern business is that there is almost nothing that your competitors can't duplicate in a matter of weeks or months. If you have a great idea, you can be certain that somebody will copy soon!. And not only will they follow your lead, but they may also be able to do a better job or sell the product or service at a lower price. The question is, "What competitive edge do I have to offer that cannot be copied by anyone else?"
The answer would be simple, your brand.
Branding is more than just a business buzzword. It has become the crux of selling in the new economy. If the old marketing mantra was," Nothing happens until somebody sells something," the new philosophy could be "Nothing happens until somebody brands something."
A brand is something that you can own and nobody can take that away from you. Everything else, they can steal. They can steal your trade secrets. Eventually, your patents will expire, your physical plant will wear out and technology will change but your brand can go on and live for ever. It creates a lasting value above and beyond all the other elements of your business. A brand cannot be all things to all people. By definition, no single brand is going to appeal to all customers. On the contrary, branding is based on the concept of singularity — targeting individuals in a personal manner— and therefore precludes the concept of universal appeal.
The foundation of your brand is its name. After its uniqueness wears off, it will be your brand name against the brand names of your competitors in the marketplace.
Many companies have committed translation faux pas when they failed to cross reference the brand's name in other languages or cultures. One of the most popular instances was the marketing mishap with the Chevy Nova. The car didn't impress the Latin American Customers, as the vehicle’s name in Spanish means" It doesn't go."
Brand’s name should be catchy, easy enough to communicate, and should be acceptable to consumers from various ethnic backgrounds.
If possible, the name should also complement the overall core values of the company. For instance, Pampers was a perfect name for the diaper line that Procter & Gamble launched in the late 1970s. The name is easy to say, has positive associations, and links to the performance of the product. Besides that, the brand came out at a time when cloth diapers were still largely popular with mothers. By its name alone, mothers could make the switch to disposable diapers without compromising the comfort or pampering of their baby. There are also chances of de-branding that can happen when the entrepreneur fails to associate the brand-name with a positive value-added product. The best illustration would be Vijay Mallya buying the Bangalore Royal Challengers team in the current IPL cricket series. The performance that the Bangalore team has put up, may contribute to de-branding his already built brand.
So most importantly, a brand must be endearing and rest will endure on its own.

Tips on English - Part 2

Another useful piece from Supantha Banerjee on tackling English
Cultural differences
Same words may mean different things to different people. E.g. ‘Fix a flat’ may mean, ‘arrange for an apartment’ in some parts of the world, whereas the expression may mean, ‘fix a broken tyre/tire (both are correct, though ‘tyre’ is more common in India where as in US ‘tire’ means car tire) of your car. The example stresses that the content of a communication package should be written keeping the receiver in mind.
Short & Sweet
Shorter sentences are always better and create less confusion in the minds of people. Shorter usually means clearer, less awkward and unambiguous. Given an option a sentence should be revised to make it shorter.
Jane and her boss have differences over the way in which the program should work.
The sentence above is wordy. A better version of the above sentence could be:
Jane and her boss differ over how the program should work.
Consider As
Consider means ‘regard as’. Usage of ‘consider as’ is incorrect at the least and wordy at the best. As should never follow consider although we see this usage time and time again.
Incorrect: Bob is considered as a guru in Oracle
Correct: Bob is considered a guru in Oracle

Incorrect: Consider this email as my code review sign-off
Correct: Consider this email my code review sign-off
Magic Modifier
Incorrect placement of a modifier in a sentence can change the meaning of the entire sentence. E.g. Great care should be taken to align the word ‘only’ with the word it actually modifies.

I coded the new program only yesterday – I don’t need to code any today.
I coded only the new program yesterday – I did not code any other program.
I only coded the new program yesterday – I did not do anything else.
Only I coded the new program yesterday – Nobody else coded any.

Back to school

The holidays are over and the children are back to school. There is a routine in the house and the life for us mothers is more structured and disciplined now. What a relief! …But relief for whom ? Definitely not for the children. Stress is not the prerogative of adults alone. Children average or above average lead a very stressful life now a days. Not only academics, they are expected to excel in everything they put their hands into be it theatre, dance, sports, drawing. The day we enroll our child for tennis, we expect him/her to play US Open one day. Though we tell ourselves we don’t pressurize our children but the undue anxiety by mothers shows it all and they understand our expectations from our body language.

There is a constant struggle in their minds to do well because doing well is the sign of getting accepted. An average child finds it very difficult to cope up with the competition. If they are unable to reach the bar created for them, it leads to stress. Studies show that most of the children are with average intelligence, the percentage of children with below and above average intelligence is very less.

I know a young mother whose son has just joined first grade. The child doesn’t like to write and writes very slowly in the class; he is unable to finish the class work in the class. The young mother is so worried about his future as if his slow writing may lead to his failure in life. Her undue anxiety does reflect in her body language

It's the beginning

Majority of the youngsters living in Mysore do not want to begin their career in Mysore because Mysore is not a happening city – divulges one survey. The most logical cause for non happening tag of Mysore is its dawdling industrial growth. The survey also reveals that big industries do not demonstrate much interest in setting up a shop here because of city’s laid back image. The million dollar question is how to make Mysore a happening place? ‘If rapid industrial development takes place in Mysore, other things will follow suit and it will automatically become a happening place’. It is like a chicken and egg story. Every entrepreneur wants to play it safe by setting up a unit where the risk is minimum and the basic ingredients for success are aplenty. It certainly requires gargantuan courage to set up your own venture, but the bigger courage lies in being the first one to do so. It required enormous courage when SPI’s CEO Sid Mookerji ( in the pic -extreme right being introduced to Ms. Indra Nooyi, CEO PepsiCo) contemplated setting up SPI more than a decade ago in Mysore after Bangalore shed its nickname of Pensioner’s paradise and became the hot spot for new ventures. He dared to dream big and today SPIzens are living his dream. Mysore’s IT growth owes a lot to SPI for SPI being the first home grown company to provide employment to local talent in a big way and securing a significant place for Mysore on state IT map.
Software Paradigms International, the parent company being named in as one of the fifty fastest growing Asian American companies in USA is a testimony to this. It was a moment of immense pride for all SPIzens when this announcement was made in the White House last week.
We were elated when SPICity, our state - of - the - art campus was built. We were euphoric when SPI acquired select BPO business from COMAT in its debut acquisition. Walking the talk has become a habit with us today. Well wishers often compliment us and say ‘SPI has come a long way’. We beg to differ here - ‘we have a long way to go and this is just the beginning’.

Tips on English - 1

Supantha Banerjee has sent a useful piece on the errors made in English by most .
Let us re-learn a few things and apply those before hitting the ‘send’ button next time!
Advice Vs. Advise
Nine out of ten writers make this mistake.
Example - Joe, find the analysis below. Please review and advice.
There are two possible errors in the sentence that is marked bold. The sentence (a) lacks parallelism (advice, a noun, does not go well with review, a verb) and (b) it does not have the required verb. The intent of the sentence is to request Joe to review the analysis and provide feedback/guidance. The word ‘Advice’ is a noun, whereas ‘Advise’ is a verb. So ‘advise’ should be used in place of ‘advice’ for the above example.
The sentence would be correct if re-written as:
Please review and advise – Using correct verb form of ‘advice’ or
Please review and provide advice – Using ‘advice’ as noun.
It’s Vs. Its
One particular error that never ceases to make me cringe is the misuse of the words ‘it's’ and ‘its’.
‘It’s’ is a contraction and abbreviated form of ‘It is’ or ‘It has’. Usage of ‘it’s’ is similar to that of ‘that’s’. ‘It’s’ in a sentence is correct if ‘it’s’ can be replaced by ‘it is’ without making the sentence awkward! Let me quote a famous line from a popular song (by Bojoura, a Dutch singer) for explanation:
If it’s Tuesday, this must be Belgium,
If it’s Wednesday, this must be Rome….
Let’s replace ‘it’s’ by ‘it is’
If it is Tuesday, this must be Belgium
If it is Wednesday, this must be Rome…
The sentence still carries the intended meaning and it is grammatically correct. By the way, do listen to the song, which was later adapted to create a Hindi classic in 1973! (Does “Churaliya” sound familiar?)
‘Its’ is a possessive pronoun. Usage of ‘its’ is similar to that of ‘his’, ‘her’ or ‘mine’
A word of advice (not advise) would be to refrain from usage of ‘it’s’ and write the full expression ‘it is’. Shorter does not always have to be better!
Doing good?
How often have you heard this expression? Countless times! Even though it ‘sounds good’, it’s not grammatically correct. In the above expression the word ‘good’ is trying to modify the verb. But ‘good’ is always an adjective and cannot be used as adverb.
Incorrect: I am doing good
Correct: I am doing well or I am doing fine

Miser! Who me?

My sons call me a miser because I ask them to open the gift packets carefully so that the gift wrappers can be reused. They call me a magpie when I keep the envelopes received in the post neatly so that they can be used again for some purpose at home. They hate it when I ask them not to throw old note books which still have a few pages blank so that they can be made into a rough note books to be used at home. They laugh at me when they see me collecting flyers from newspapers with one side blank and cutting them into four as these come in handy for making grocery list and can be used as post its. My kids find it very amusing when I stuff one polythene bag in my hand bag when going to work as I might stop to buy some mangoes on the way. They feel embarrassed when I refuse a sleek polythene bag from the vendor and quickly offer him my own cloth ‘thella’. They also make a long face when I discourage them from buying expensive gifts for me.

Communities

I am a keen observe of how people from various communities behave. Every community has some distinguish characteristics which set it apart from other communities. Like South Indians are known for their simplicity and docile nature. In north, house owners prefer south Indian tenants as they are considered to be simple and people of few needs and expectations. North Indians especially Punjabis are known for their exuberance and aggression (both positive as well as negative). Their flamboyancy is demonstrated effortlessly. The stories of generosity and liveliness of Sikhs are so well known. Hospitality has different meaning in various regions and communities. In Punjab, the more the number of dishes on the table for your guests, the more is your affection towards them but such display of hospitality and affection towards your guests are not correlated in south. In down South, sari, jewelry and steel shops are always crowded with buyers whereas steel vessels are quite outdated up in north. Since north Indians are ostentatious by nature, for them bone china and porcelains mark the status symbol. It is interesting to observe their differences.
These behavioral differences have their origin to one or the other things. Almost every family in Punjab has a story to narrate about their war experiences of 1965, 1971 and even partition; hence the aggression is but natural. With the growing migration and globalization, these lines tend to fade gradually.

Master Key

Last week I was invited to a play enacted by children in the age group of 9 - 13 years. The children did a fantastic job in accentuating the importance of preserving our environment. The story was about a young boy of 10 who cares a damn about his surroundings. Ipods , cell phones are his closest pals. He survives on junk food like the new breed of generation. He hates to walk and wants chauffeur driven car to take him even to the house next door. The play was about his transformation into a caring individual and how he pledges to save environment.
After the glittering performance during an interaction with the audience, the anchor asked if there are any experts in their chosen fields amongst the audience. I still don’t know why she asked that but in spite of her repeated announcements forget about raising a pretty hand none would even flutter an eyelid. Though there were doctors, lawyers, educationists amongst the group but no one would get up for the fear of being labeled conceited. Most of us are brought up on the modest diet of ‘let others call you expert’ instead of you blowing your own trumpet. Suddenly, all heads turned when a small girl barely 8 or 9 yrs from amongst the audience chirped ‘I am an expert in every thing I do, what ever I do is perfect’. The anchor’s comments could not be heard due to thunderous applause by the audience.
Isn’t it true that confidence is the master key to be called an expert in everything and anything? You can have the world literally at your feet if you are confident or at least divulge that you are confident. Don’t know whether success follows confidence or the other way round!

Another Chance

Tomorrow is Election Day in Mysore. During last one month, the contestants had painted the whole city in varied colors of blue, green, red. The city looked soooo colorful. Even the holy cows were not spared. Just a day before, it is unusually quiet, perhaps a lull before the storm. TOI is advocating people to use their franchise, Cast your vote, vote for Karnataka.
Whoever wins, will it really matter? Will there be no stray dogs on the road if x party wins? Or will there be no garbage choked streets/corruption/hump free roads if y party wins. All are same. Contestants are spending money like water ( no that’s a wrong example as water is a precious commodity these day) , but naturally who ever wins will make sure to get back all the money spent within next one year ( with interest of course). If they don’t earn by whatever means, how will they contest next election. It’s a vicious circle. Don’t know if there is any Abhimanyu who can break this chakarvihu. But it doesn't mean I won't vote , I will and so should you. Let's give our Politicians another chance.

It happens only in India

What do you observe when you look at this picture? You observe stark differentiation between foreign and Indian nationals. Like many other things, some things happen only in India. Once, while accompanying an American client for a visit to the Royal Palace, I was hugely embarrassed when I was asked to pay Rs 200 as entry fees for both of us. The ticket clerk mistook me to be a foreigner. After a closer look, he apologized and clarified “Sorry madam, it is Rs 120 only, Rs 100 for the American lady and Rs 20 for you. In some places the discrimination is even worst. The foreigners cough up Rs 1000/ for a visit to Taj Mahal where as Indian nationals pay only Rs 20. Those western looking NRIs too end up shelling out the exorbitant rates meant for foreign nationals. All tourist places run by government are authorized to charge the discriminating rates for Indians and foreigners. The logic of extracting extra charges from foreigners without any additional service is un comprehensible. India has a rich heritage to exhibit but India is one of the most unfriendly tourist countries. Lack of clean rest rooms, no good roads, no authorized translators/guides are just a few road blocks. Discriminating entry fees is an add on. Charging a different fee is justifiable only under one condition. If some extra services like a guide service is provided to the visitor. Extracting extra bucks from foreigners for the same service is obnoxious.

Happy Women's Day

8th March was International Women’s Day. This day is identified as the day for the celebration of womanhood. It celebrates the life of those women who face hardships in life with their inner strength. Ayn Rand, Mother Teresa, Helen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt and many others led an exemplary life. They had to struggle and make difficult choices. In today’s context, from rags to riches life story of well known author J.K.Rowling is the most inspiring. For a progressive thinking woman, this day starts with family and close friends wishing her ‘Happy Women’s Day’. During the day her thumb goes numb replying to Women’s Day SMSs laden with choicest of quotes on ‘inherent strength of women’. Her colleagues both men and women walk in to her desk to wish her. Her mail box is full with emails from well wishers conveying ‘you mean a lot to me’. Feminists roll out their tired speeches on women’s rights. Perhaps a seminar or a lecture thrown in to motivate her to reach great heights completes the picture. After all, this is the appointed day for all humanity to shower their appreciation towards women around them. Men around her silently observe this hullabaloo and wonder ‘why no Men’s Day’. The day culminates with romantic dinner with boyfriend/ husband or a night out with girl friends where she is dressed in her best and giggles non stop over silly things. All through the day she is on cloud nine and her self esteem is sky high. She feels proud to be a woman. Not a single negative thought crosses her mind; suddenly she becomes aware of her capability to overcome any hurdle and emerge victorious.
…The day gone. This day is forgotten until the next Women’s Day.
Now it is back to the usual state of low self esteem and helplessness. The feelings of bitterness and envy again emerge out from undercover. Where have all her strengths, sacrifices and accomplishments gone? Don’t know where. The issues of gender bias, discrimination at home and work again make a home in her mind. Her multi tasking ability which was her strength till yesterday now becomes her lack of focus.
There are hundreds and thousands of women everywhere who continue to face and fight the small battles at work and home without knowing anything about Women’s Day. It’s a Women’s Day when there is equal pay for equal work and it’s not the gender but merit decides her growth path. It’s a Women’s Day when opportunities and avenues for growth are thrown open for all irrespective of gender; it is day of celebration when the birth of a girl is as big an occasion for rejoice as that of a boy. Isn’t it a women’s Day when she becomes aware of her strengths, when she is not forced to put up with domestic violence and has the courage to walk out of a bad marriage? When she comes out from the feeling of inadequacy and when the emotion of envy flies out from the window sill only to be replaced by a feeling of support and cooperation towards other women, is it not the day to celebrate? There is a new dawn for her when she thrashes her image of woman’s worst enemy to take the role of woman’s best friend.
Did anyone say men vs women? Success cannot be achieved by suppression but is a result of man woman synergy.
Happy Women’s Day to all you women out there! Let the feeling of Women’s Day linger on the entire year and not just for one single day.

Call me by my name

They say what’s in a name; I say everything is in the name. You may call rose by any other name, for sure it will smell as sweet but ask rose - will it liked to be called by any other name such as Blacky or Creepy . Definitely not.
I have an excellent memory , can remember phone numbers , flight numbers and anything and everything about a person but when it comes to remembering names , I am a complete blank. I remember everything about one acquaintance I bumped into at a coffee shop recently … I remember everything about her… the color of her dress, type of jewellary she was wearing (I am sure all women are good at that!), how many children does she have, which class/ school do they go it, her phone number, where does she live etc etc but don’t ask me her name. Sometimes it is very embarrassing when I fail to remember the name of person with whom I have spoken nth number of times, had lunch also. I have tried all tricks like associating the person’s name with some incident or famous personality but nothing seems to work. Suggestion any one?

Change of Mind

A decade ago there would be a big fight in the house if I even heard about any friend /colleague migrating to the land of opportunities, I would almost die with envy, “They are the lucky ones who will live a life of luxury now and me forced to deal with daily problems of no water supply, frequent power cuts, pollution, corruption, need to pull strings to get anything done even nursery school admissions, and daily kich kich in life over petty issues. “How to get away from all this?” was the constant struggle in my mind
Fast forward to 21st century; things have changed in India and so is my mind.
Day in and day out I am bidding bonvoyage to my colleagues who are sent to company headquarters in Atlanta for a temporary or permanent stay. At times I wonder where has the feeling of envy gone? It has not gone, it has just been replaced by another feeling… a feeling of empathy (if they are going for good)
“I wonder how they will adjust to a different life; won’t it be painful for them to say good bye to the life of comfort – comforts of hot dinner neatly laid on the table when you come home from work, coziness of sleeping late when your driver drives your kids for early morning tennis class, convenience of leaving your kids with a neighbor when you are dancing your heels off on valentine’s day party, availability of all the international brands in the mall next door and that too within reach , flexibility of spending time with your cousins when they are in town on a weekday ( you don’t have to ask them to make their trip only on the weekend and that too inform you two months in advance so that you can book your weekend), your elderly parents having the independence of hiring an auto to roam around when they come for a visit ( need not wait for you to come home and take them out)
Did I mention about ample career opportunities and fat… fatter… fattest pay packages?

Write - Don't write it off

Shivram Gangadhariah has sent a lucid write up on why we should insist on written messages when it comes to official and important communication and just not depend on the vagaries of sound waves.


At a crucial stage in Mahabharata, when asked for confirmation of the news, Dharmaraya announced to Guru Dronacharya "Yes, Ashwatthama, the elephant, is dead". Lord Krishna blew his conch in the middle of the announcement, ensuring that Drona only heard "Ashwatthama is dead". Heartbroken by the news of the death of his beloved son, the hitherto rampant Drona withdrew from the battlefield of Kurukshetra, thus changing its course. Now, if Dronacharya had insisted on a written statement instead of verbal communication, there would have been no scope for manipulation and confusion. Of course, it is not feasible to insist on written communication in mid-battle, but the above story shows the inherent risk in verbal communication.
It is quite possible that you work late hours to meet the client’s deadline and successfully complete module 13, only to find the client unhappily informing you the next day that he actually wanted module 30 done ASAP, not 13. Needless to say, the communication was all verbal, with no documentation whatsoever. It is pointless to argue with the client that “yesterday you had said 13, now you want 30 – how come?”, because client is always right (as is the boss, and the wife!). A short follow-up mail from you to the client immediately after receiving the verbal instruction, stating that “working on module 13, as per your instruction – please confirm” would have done the trick. It would have elicited a response from the client saying “OK, go ahead” or “Correction! I want module 30, not 13”. That would have resulted in a job well-done, and put smiles on all the faces that matter.
In intra-office affairs also, written communication helps avoid unnecessary headache. The strange notion that seems to be floating around of late, that mature people depend on verbal instead of written communication is … well, strange. Written communication does ease your work, but take care not to overdo it, like it is often done in Government offices. One of my previous employers, in the pre-email era, had intra-office memo with the catchy legend printed at top: “Don’t say - Write”. It did help reduce confusion, and the resulting friction.