Connection Dil Se

‘Most of the new age technology is superfluous and we can do without most of the gadgets.’ That’s what I had always thought. Were we not happy and stayed connected with our friends even when there were no mobile phones and even landline was a luxury? Life went on smoothly even without computers but now… I am forced to change my opinion.

Technology can do a lot more than connecting your boss to you on a lazy Sunday afternoon like it can connect old pals, old school and college friends.

I had never ever thought I will even know the whereabouts of my class mates from school, college or univ, and the thrill of getting connected to school and college friends after two decades is unexplainable. Thanks to Facebook , the memories of Economics dept are again fresh, It is as if nothing has changed, we go back 20 years in life and we still live in those times when we could discuss for days the most trivial issues. When Nikhil tells me that he is looking forward to becoming an adult and enjoy the freedom, I tell him “we too felt the same and now we look back to those days with nostalgia.”

Another fact which is nothing to do with technology, Basic human nature does not change, it only reaches it ultimate as we grow old. Those who were serious earlier , two decades later are little more serious now. And those who were non serious are perhaps gone worst and take nothing seriously now. Some liked to yap yap, they yap much more.

Mom, I haven't won the prize…

“Why didn’t my child get a prize, he was so good?”, “How come that child was given the first position, she was so ordinary?” Hmm do these reactions sound familiar?
We often hear people accusing the judges of a competition for the bias decision. It is easy to accuse the authorities and judges for the unfair judgment when you are one of the participants but come to the other side of the fence and you will say ‘I wish I was on the other side’. The same happened to me last week when I was invited to be one of the judges for a fancy dress competition at St. Joseph’s Central school. Participating is far easier than pronouncing the Best amongst the best. This is more so when all of them have put in their best foot forward. The dejected faces of children who are not the winners melt your heart and make you feel guilty.
There is always a debate without any conclusion on whether young children should be made to go through the emotional ordeal of facing competition. One school of thought states that not fetching the first place amounts to failure and leads to emotional imbalance for young children. Why should the tiny tots be made to go through these emotional traumas at a young age? Right! But isn’t competition the most important reality of life and the earlier they learn about it the better it is for them. Regarding that emotional imbalance, it can be handled pretty well by children if parents do not put undue pressure on their children to be the winner. It will be a part of the game for the child if she/he sees a big smile on mom’s face even when she/he doesn’t bring a trophy home. Isn’t participation as fun as winning a prize? School teachers too can pitch in by not giving partial treatment to those children who win the competition and encouraging other children to try their best.
It was a great show but the highlight of the event was not the brilliant show put up by primary school children but the discipline and time management practiced by the school. The show started at the pre announced hour irrespective of who is present and who is not. When one of the judges failed to turn up at the designated time, the principal Mrs. Joyce Lobo took the instant decision to request someone else to judge the event instead of waiting for the judge who was held up. In sharp contrast to this I am reminded of an event when a chief guest made the audience wait for two hours in the hot sun.
I wonder why we appreciate these values in childhood but tend to forget them as we grow up. Any answers?

How observant are we?

Last week I had the privilege to be an invitee to a Rajasthani theme party hosted by a close friend. The hosts hail from the picturesque Rajasthan state. Since the theme was ‘Rajasthan’ the guests came dressed up in colorful Rajasthani attire. Needless to mention the cuisine was purely Rajasthani with dishes like gatte, dal bati choorma, ghevar etc. Like a typical Rajathani woman, Lata played the perfect host and had put in lot of effort to prepare the mouth watering Rajasthani dishes.
The theme party would have remained incomplete without testing the awareness quotient of the guests on Rajasthan. Prepared by Pradeep, it was a simple but very creative quiz with questions about forts, palaces, deserts and celebrities of Rajasthan but most of us failed miserably.
“I have heard about this fort/place but I am not very sure about it” was the most common response to all the questions. Though we had heard/read about these places many times but we were still not very confident. Many of us did not even know the city of their( host) origin.
Information is all around us but do we really grasp even half of it?
Having a theme party about a place is an excellent way to generate interst in that place as it is a human tendency to find out the answers to unanswered questions and to learn more about it.
The moot question is –
Do we really pay attention to people even our close friends when they talk about themselves? In the past 6 years I have spoken /met Lata umpteenth times but are we really paying attention to things around us? Is it that we are unconcerned about others even the people close to us or we have the ‘not my business’ attitude?
Perhaps the same attitude is carried in others things. If we think we are directly or indirectly benefitting from this( a conversation/ lecture, information, piece of knowledge), we pay attention or else not. I did not even know that Lata’s and my son who are the best of friends have the same birth place. Are we becoming indifferent to things around us and absorb only what is benefitting us directly?
These days we believe in superficial relationships. This is the world of ‘Let me mind my own business and you mind yours’. Though we may not be practicing this delibrately but over a period of time, it becomes a habit with us.

Shall I tell the truth to Rahul?

Bringing up new generation children is a tough task and bringing up sensitive children who ask lots of questions for which parents may not have the logical and appropriate answer is even tougher. Last week, I happened to meet Suresh Oberoi, the yester year veteran actor at a club. Rahul, my nine years old son became very friendly with him and bombarded him with questions for all the two hours that we all were together. Though Rahul has not seen any of his movies but based on his thinking and imagination , he found lots of things to talk about. The actor answered all his questions patiently and jokingly called Rahul a ‘BBC reporter’.
Suresh Oberoi is a very friendly gentleman and he was nice and polite with who ever he met there.
The actor invited Rahul to his house in Mumbai during Christmas holidays and asked him to stay with his family in his house. The issue is not whether to accept the invitation or not. The issue is Rahul has taken the invitation at its face value …really seriously.

Rahul: Was uncle really serious when he invited me to his house?
Me: Yes , he was ( I didn’t want to break his heart)

Rahul: Then why didn’t he give me his landline or mobile number ? Has he fooled me ? why did he fool me?
Me: Speechless

I have no answers to these questions. Celebrities like to be nice and friendly to people they meet especailly children. I do not want to tell him that the actor was just being friendly and nothing else I do not want to hurt my son.
I cannot also tell him that actor has invited him genuinely because that in all probablity is not true.
Rahul is a very sensitive boy; these days he remains in deep thoughts and after the first few questions hasn’t spoken on this subject. I know that some thoughts are going on his mind which he is not sharing. I don’t know how to give logical answer to his queries.
As a mother should have I stopped the actor from telling something to a child which he doesn’t mean even if it was just an act of being friendly and nice. I am confused. Shall the tell the truth to Rahul?

Cyptic e-mails

A large part of the first impressions you create on others come from posture, expression, eye-contact and gestures. Studies indicate that 55% of communication happens through body language, 38% through tone (paralanguage), while just 7% happens through words. Being in a profession where I need to communicate through e-mails with people from different walks of life, professions, ages and gender, I have come to believe that e-mails too exude body language and a major part of the message can be comprehended through the sender’s choice of font, font size, punctuation marks, spacing etc. It is interesting to read between the lines and understand the sender’s mood and emotions. Short forms used in the e-mails like u, v, 2, 4, wanna, luv, ur indicate that the sender is a carefree and casual person and is not very serious about the message or, in short, at this moment you are not taken very seriously by the sender. A mail festooned with gestures like smiles, frowns, etc reflects the emotive mood of the sender — jovial or gloomy.
On the other hand, a mail complete with all the punctuation marks and appropriate spacing between words and paragraphs not only emanate the professional attitude of the sender but also indicates that he or she is ‘to the point’. It also conveys that the sender is a kind of person who values the relationship. A simple, unambiguous and brief mail with clear queries points towards the sincerity and no nonsense nature.

A mail addressed to you by your first name specifies intimacy and conveys that the sender is keen on building a rapport with you whereas a mail beginning with the message or a simple ‘hi’ connotes that you are one amongst many and don’t have a special place in the sender’s heart. Some of the mails are quite challenging and one needs to go over it a few times to understand things left unsaid. This is particularly true of a mail written fully in upper cases (caps). It may mean one of the two things — either the sender is yelling at you for something or the Caps Lock key was left on by mistake!

Duties are as sacred as rights!

Democracy is a strange beast. History is replete with stories of nations shedding blood to have a small pie of democracy; on the other hand unrestricted democracy and freedom is said to create more problems than it resolves. Read More

Cell ored

Just a decade ago, owning a mobile phone was a luxury. Today, it is neither a luxury nor it is just a phone.
Forget about mobiles. There was a time not so long ago when one had to measure the red tape length wise for eight to ten years to get a phone connection. In this fast track age, mobile phones have become indispensable for us. We wonder how life existed without cell phones. Today’s fast paced world requires us to multi task not only to stay ahead of the competition but just to stay afloat. Mobile phone is one of the innumerable technological devices that help us keep in touch not only with the outside world but with our inner self. With time, they are becoming smaller in size but better and wider in features. Rightly so, you can judge a person by the mobile phone he keeps. While on my way to office every day, on the six km stretch I marvel at the sight of people balancing their tiny handsets between their right ear and neck. Doing this while riding a two wheeler is a true test of their driving skills and requires courage and speaks volume about their ‘I care a damn attitude’. Causalities in the road accidents due to cell phone usage become mere statistics. We are capable of using our cell phones all the time and don’t feel shy of using them during presentations, interviews, lectures just to communicate ‘I am in a meeting and will speak to you later’. We often forget that all mobile phones come with a key to put it on silent mode. Mobile phone was invented to improve our communication but has this really improved communication? Have we made new friends or are our relationship better just because it is anytime anywhere communication now? Definitely not.
Earlier we made an effort to remember the important dates and numbers, now this is done by our computer or phone. Our life revolves around this tiny gadget. We can live without our family or friends but not without our cell phone.

Communities

I am a keen observe of how people from various communities behave. Every community has some distinguish characteristics which set it apart from other communities. Like South Indians are known for their simplicity and docile nature. In north, house owners prefer south Indian tenants as they are considered to be simple and people of few needs and expectations. North Indians especially Punjabis are known for their exuberance and aggression (both positive as well as negative). Their flamboyancy is demonstrated effortlessly. The stories of generosity and liveliness of Sikhs are so well known. Hospitality has different meaning in various regions and communities. In Punjab, the more the number of dishes on the table for your guests, the more is your affection towards them but such display of hospitality and affection towards your guests are not correlated in south. In down South, sari, jewelry and steel shops are always crowded with buyers whereas steel vessels are quite outdated up in north. Since north Indians are ostentatious by nature, for them bone china and porcelains mark the status symbol. It is interesting to observe their differences.
These behavioral differences have their origin to one or the other things. Almost every family in Punjab has a story to narrate about their war experiences of 1965, 1971 and even partition; hence the aggression is but natural. With the growing migration and globalization, these lines tend to fade gradually.

Six Reasons for why one should blog

Welcome to the world of blogging. Blogs have been around for a decade now. They have come a long way from the tag of ‘time pass’ hobby to the trendiest thing to do. “Do you have a blog” or “Do you blog” is the most common question to break the ice between two strangers. There are blogs on almost all subjects and sub - subjects one can think of and by all the names as there is no copyright on blog names (I suppose!). I could not name my blog for a long time as which ever name I decided on; there was a blog by that name. After zeroing on Coffee Break, I have decided not to do any more google search to find out if a blog by this name already exists.
‘Comments’ to a post add the spice and make a blog interesting. Many bloggers read only the comments and not the post as these gives them various angles of a story. For some, blogging is a kind of addiction and in Marxist terminology, it can be rightly called the ‘opium of the 21st century’
Six Reasons for why one should blog

1. True freedom of expression. You don’t have to write as per publications’ guidelines and editor’s instructions
2. Instant gratification of your efforts and writing abilities
3. An ocean full of info on every topic under the sun
4. Immediate feedback to your posts
5. You get a chance to give a piece of your mind to those writers whose ideas don’t appeal to you
6. The sixth reason is for the readers to tell