How Cool We Are?

Cuss words, and swear words especially the F-word, have become so common in everyday conversation that it’s a part of vocabulary. Abuses, once reserved for private spaces or among friends, are now out in the open and used by almost everyone, and if you are not using the F word then you are not cool. There was a time when people abused in certain circles like their close friends, never in front of parents, elders, or children, but now these words are part of a common vocabulary. Just the other day, I was watching a stand-up comedy where the comedian used the abuses of mother and sister in EVERY sentence. It was disgusting. The show was highly recommended. I looked at comments to know if viewers have objected to his language. Shocking! There were comments about how hilarious he was and how his comedy made them laugh but not a single comment about how dirty his language was. Surprising that such content is there for public viewing. 

Once, a young writer with a large following posted something that included offensive language. I commented, suggesting that, as a writer with such influence, he should refrain from using such words. I was immediately trolled, called old-fashioned, an ‘aunty,’ or a ‘nosy aunty.’ Why is it that, when you advocate for respect and decency, you’re considered uncool?

I was watching a show called Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives, and one of the characters used the F-word in nearly every sentence. She even encouraged her friends to do the same, when one of her friends objected, claiming that it made her feel "good." Seriously? Is that what cool has come to?

The most shocking part? Most of the people using these words have no idea what they truly mean. If they understood the weight of these words, they would likely be ashamed to say them. But still, everyone keeps using them, because of FOMO. I once asked a youngster why young people use such language. He shrugged and said, “Everyone uses it. It’s okay. It doesn’t really mean anything bad." But Bad language is bad, regardless of how casually it’s thrown around.

It’s troubling to see how easily profanity has become ingrained in people’s vocabulary. But does it really make anyone more cool or more powerful to use offensive language? Or has this just become the default way of expressing ourselves in a world that’s losing touch with the importance of respect and civility?

How My Corporate Job stimulated My Passion for Fiction writing

Thirteen years in the corporate world have been a fascinating journey, filled with deadlines and technical jargons, but what I never expected was that this environment would plant the seed of fiction writing in my mind, eventually leading me to hang up my corporate boots and embrace writing full-time. It's been ten years since I made the switch, and even today, I look forward to each day spent weaving plots and developing characters. I loved my role as a Corporate Communication and PR professional, which I started as a part-timer and eventually transitioned to full-time. 

One of my key responsibilities was curating content for SPIVibes, our company’s monthly newsletter. The biggest challenge? Convincing my techie colleagues, who weren’t exactly wordsmiths, to contribute articles. As Editor-in-Chief, it was my job to make their technical content more engaging and interesting. Filling eight pages every month was a constant challenge. We decided to introduce a section dedicated to birthdays and anniversaries, but as the company grew, we had to discontinue this due to the sheer number of employees. Every month, I found myself collecting materials, following up with people for articles, and working under tight deadlines to ensure the newsletter went out on time. And if the news wasn’t there? I had to create it. 

Apart from the monthly newsletter, I took care of internal communication, sending out press releases, organizing press conferences, arranging media meets with the top bosses, events, quarterly All Heads meet when the top brass visited our India office. It was through this constant exposure to employee interaction, content creation, striving to make it both interesting and informative, that the seed for storytelling was planted. Over time, I found myself observing people more closely, trying to understand their unspoken and unnoticed motives. This curiosity led me to write my first short fictional story. I shared the first two chapters with Michelle, a colleague from the admin and purchase department. From that point on, every time we met, she would ask, “When are you sharing the next chapter?” So there was an audience—someone wanted to read what I had written so I wrote. 

Over a period of time, I realized I enjoyed fiction writing more than reporting facts. The office was a goldmine of stories—ambition, friendship, gossip, office politics, affairs, jealousies, and the intricate web of relationships that made the workplace so dynamic. Every office conversation, every heated discussion, every quiet moment in the conference room, and even those awkward exchanges were rich with potential subplots for my stories.

Note to myself: Observe situations, observe people closely, understand their hidden motivations, jealousies, office gossip, look out for conflicts in personalities, and give wings to your imagination.

All that glitters is 22 carat gold

 

We Indian women are crazy about possessing gold. We hold 11% of the world’s gold reserves, and yet yeh dil mange more—the skyrocketing gold rates be damned! We love gold. Brides are decked up in gold. They shine like gold. Gold is offered to God as a bribe or as a gesture of gratitude. Would God be happier if you gave real gold instead of fashion jewellery? We believe  so. At festivals, goddesses adorn only gold ornaments. Gold facials give you a gold-like glow. People kill for gold, and gold smuggling is quite rampant. We even eat gold—gold dosas in Bengaluru. We love all things gold-plated, real gold Zari on our clothes, all that glittery, golden magic.

Gold is no longer just the fancy of women; men want it too. The gold shops are crowded as always. Malabar, Tanishq, and the like are busy serving delicious frothy coffee along with gold. People are accumulating gold, and our love for it is only growing, along with the rates. Malabar is my favourite coffee shop—their frothy coffee is yum.

Earlier, gold was streedhan, an investment, a security for the married woman. But now there are so many other options—property, stocks, mutual funds. But gold is gold. In the wake of a wobbly stock market, it can be said that gold can never be bearish—unless you're walking alone on a dark street.

Recently, Indian women don’t wear as much gold. They equally love costume jewellery for the variety it offers and for its affordability. But still, we buy gold on every possible occasion, though we know it will ultimately be transferred from one locker to another. We also love wearing gold-plated or imitation jewellery that can fool people into thinking we're wearing 22-carat gold.

Once, at Kushal’s, a well-known store for costume jewellery, I was trying on a gold-looking choker. I was in a dilemma about whether I should buy it. Sensing my confusion, the store guy said, “Madam, it looks like you’ve just walked out of a Tanishq store.”

“Okay, pack it then,” I replied. I sealed the deal, giving myself a mental pat on the back for buying a necklace that looked worth five lakhs for just two thousand. It was a smart deal. This is what I call customer satisfaction for both the seller and the customer.

I remember a few years ago in Chandigarh, around noon, a neighbour aunty was haggling with the vegetable vendor outside her house when two bike-borne men stopped in front of her. One of them distracted her by asking for an address, while the pillion rider grabbed her thick gold chain and fled. Startled, she shouted, “Meri 45 gm ki chain le gaye, koi pakdo!” (They stole my 45-gram gold chain! Someone catch them!) The neighbourhood women came rushing, offering sympathy, and equally envious of the woman for flaunting her 45-gram gold chain. More women joined.

A few minutes later, the same bike stopped near them. Before anyone could understand why the thieves were back, one of them shouted, “You made us take so much risk for this fake chain.” And then, he hurled abuses, throwing the chain at the woman. They left. The woman’s face turned golden, her eyes cast down. The fake chain had let her down in front of her neighbours. Real gold wouldn’t have. 

Images for representation only (Source - internet)

Tale of Every Public Toilet

If I were asked to name one thing that stood out from my trip to Japan, it would undoubtedly be its pristinely clean public toilets. Whether in trains, small stations, shopping malls, or remote platforms, clean and well-maintained toilets are available everywhere, and they’re free to use. It was a delight to see that there were no wet floors, no broken locks, and the taps always had running water. I was even struck by how some public toilets in Japan were cleaner than those in people’s homes. The same can be said for other countries like Europe, the USA, Singapore, and Turkey. However, in Japan, one exception Kawaguchiko, a heavily tourist-dependent town in Japan, had filthy toilets littered with tissues. Tourists throng this town to sight Mt Fuji. In response, the government built a barrier around Mt. Fuji to restrict the influx of tourists to the city. This led to fewer visitors, and consequently, the toilets became cleaner. 

While the issue was tackled effectively, it raises the larger question: why are some countries able to keep public spaces clean, while others like India struggle? In India, the story is different. Public toilets are often filthy, a problem exacerbated by people's disregard for cleanliness. There’s a disheartening trend of people flushing items like socks, napkins, and hand towels, which only worsens the problem. It’s easy to blame the country's high population density, but the issue is more deeply rooted in apathy and a lack of hygiene awareness.

Cultural norms in countries like Japan and the USA foster a deep respect for public property. People clean up after themselves and maintain order in public spaces, including restrooms. In fact, children are often taught to clean their classrooms and toilets at school. This cultural emphasis on cleanliness and hygiene is ingrained from a young age, leading to a collective responsibility for maintaining public spaces. In contrast, India lacks this strong civic sense. Many people avoid public toilets altogether, particularly women who prefer to hold their bladder rather than face the unhygienic conditions. I, too, would choose hunger and thirst over using a train toilet.

The challenge in India isn’t solely about the lack of infrastructure or the country’s history with open defecation. People’s general apathy toward public property, combined with poor sanitation habits and insufficient hygiene education, contribute significantly to the problem. If both parents and schools can encourage a shift in values toward cleanliness, respect for public property and hygiene, habit of cleaning up after themselves - we might just begin to see the same level of respect for public spaces that countries like Japan and others enjoy.

Love doesn't always triumph, the reality of arranged marriages

I had an arranged marriage like most people of those days. A week after the marriage, we met a Swiss couple, and we were asked the most obvious question that married couples are often asked: “How did you two meet?”

“We had an arranged marriage,” we said in unison.

“My parents replied to the ad given by his parents,” I said truthfully.

The Swiss couple’s mouths dropped open, their eyebrows raised. The concept of arranged marriage was alien to them, but for us, back then and even now, that’s how marriages happen. We considered ourselves progressive because we were both given a chance to voice our opinion about our prospective life partner, something that many didn’t even get.

In India, 90% of marriages are arranged, and 90% are successful—at least they appear so. In India, if a husband and wife are staying in the same house and going out together, it means they are a happy couple and their marriage is successful. Whatever happens inside the four walls is no one’s business and shouldn’t be.

But nowadays, arranged marriages have a twist. The boy and girl meet mostly in the presence of their parents, and if they think they would like to consider the possibility of tolerating each other for the rest of their lives, they take the alliance forward and meet a few more times to gauge their compatibility. Even parents agree that they must meet to get to know each other better.

But the moot question is: where do they meet? In their parents’ living room? In a restaurant, park, hotel, café… where? What about the moral police? In some states, the moral police are so powerful that they have the authority to arrest a wayward couple sitting in a park. Oyo in Meerut has barred unmarried couples from staying there.

So what should this boy and girl do? Play blind in marriage? “Love is blind” is a cliché, but are marriages too blind? Ironically, we think nothing of men peeing in public. All we do is turn our face the other way and turn a blind eye to it.

Most of the content we watch on TV and OTT platforms has vulgar dialogues and obscenity on display. Cuss words are considered rather cool, and if these cuss words are not part of your everyday vocabulary, then you are not a cool dude but an old aunty. At times, the content is so obscene that even married couples can’t watch it in the company of their parents or children. We are okay with that.

Such obscenity doesn’t corrupt our minds, doesn’t disparage our values and culture, but watching a man and woman kissing or holding hands in public will corrupt our minds. Seriously!

Image credits: Internet 

Every Rose has its Day, Happy Valentine's Day for florists

If you love someone, express it either through words or actions, or better yet, both. Valentine’s Day isn’t just about love; it’s about expressing love, and what better way to do so than with roses? Interestingly, this day not only sparks romance but also ignites debates. In some states, it is officially banned. If a young boy and girl are seen together, they may even be jailed. The moral police warn the youth against celebrating this day of love. Regardless of whether one celebrates or opposes Valentine’s Day, for florists worldwide, it remains a highly anticipated occasion. Their livelihoods depend on such events. 

This day—and the entire week leading up to it, often called “Rose Day” by florists—undeniably elevates the humble rose to celebrity status. On Valentine’s Day, a rosebud that typically costs ₹ 10 suddenly becomes five times more expensive. Yet, people in love willingly pay the premium. After all, it’s just one day, and love deserves to be celebrated. 

Love, especially romantic love, is a beautiful feeling—one that makes the world brighter and more joyful. So, why not celebrate it? Whether you believe in Valentine’s Day or not, take this opportunity to express your love with roses. Buy a single rose or a bouquet, not just to show love but also to support your local florist. Let love bloom and make the world a kinder, more beautiful place.

If we want to create a better society, start by changing men’s mindsets

 

A woman can only be truly strong if the men around her empower her. If we want to create a better society, we must start by changing men’s mindsets. 

I sat down to watch Mrs., the remake of the Malayalam movie, but switched off the TV after just half an hour. The film was simply too frustrating - it made me want to pull my hair out. Despite being educated and financially independent, why do women still endure such struggles? This question lingered in my mind, and two days later, I resumed the movie, even though I had already seen the original. Mrs. is a mirror that reflects the pervasive patriarchy in society. What’s striking is how women of nearly every generation can relate to the film. It begs the question: what has really changed about women’s status? The answer, it seems, is that most changes are merely superficial. Today, women may be educated and financially independent, but marriage often brings little real change to their lives. At its core, Mrs. isn’t just about patriarchy; it’s about the conditioning of women. From a young age, women are taught to support men and ensure their comfort, often at the expense of their own needs. A mother perpetuates patriarchy by teaching her daughter to “adjust” no matter the circumstances. A mother-in-law reinforces it by expecting her daughter-in-law to conform to the "culture" of the household—one that revolves around taking care of men and letting them lead. 

Even the popular slogan, ‘Educate a woman, and you educate an entire family,’ subtly places the responsibility of uplifting families on women. But what about men? Little will change unless they change. The real slogan should be, ‘Change a man, and you uplift the entire society - not just the family.’

A woman can only be truly strong if the men around her empower her. If we want to create a better society, we must start by changing men’s mindsets.

Mrs. is a must-watch for men. The script of Mrs reinforces patriarchy by suggesting that societal norms remain unchallenged and unchanged. A more impactful conclusion would depict men evolving or at least recognizing their unfairness toward women. Such an ending would’ve better aligned with the movie's intended message and leave a stronger, more progressive impact on its audience.

Money Talks, Power Walks, Even God takes Note

Money Talks, Power Walks, Even God takes Note 

1953, my mother was a stage volunteer at a program where Jawaharlal Nehru was the Chief Guest. After his speech, as he was stepping down from the stage, she ran after him to greet him. “Chacha ji, bless me that I may follow in your footsteps,” she said, bowing before him. “Beta, it’ll be like this only,” he replied, placing a hand on her head to bless her.

My uncle Ravi, three years younger than my mother, has a similar story to share. Once, as a student, he went to the Parliament House to seek approval for an academic project on Buddhist culture that had been delayed due to red tape. The study required government approval. By chance, he saw Jawaharlal Nehru, the then Prime Minister, in the corridor who walking towards his cabin. Quickly introducing himself, Uncle had the presence of mind to request approval directly from the Prime Minister. Right then and there, in the corridor, Nehru granted the approval.

Listening to these stories, my sons were surprised. “How come the Prime Minister didn’t have any security? What if someone had tried to harm him?” Sadly, today’s generation is unfamiliar with a world where politicians and ministers didn’t need heavy security. Back then, leaders like Nehru were approachable to the common man.

The term VIP has undergone a significant transformation. VIPs are no longer limited to political leaders but include anyone with money and power. The VIP tag can easily be bought. Be it a special darshan at Tirumala Tirupati, Chamundi Temple, Dharmasthala, or elsewhere, there are always two queues—one for commoners and another for VIPs or those who pay for a quick darshan. Even God appears quickly for VIPs, while the commoners are made to wait.

At events like the Mahakumbh, there are separate VIP and VVIP areas, exclusive to the rich and powerful, cordoned off from the common areas. Society has always been divided into the rich and the poor, but the VIP culture, especially at temples and religious places, is further deepening this divide, creating stark divisions between the 'haves' and the 'have-nots.'